Quid Pro Quo
by Queenhaq
Summary: Sookie chose to walk away from both the men she loved but where does that leave Eric? He opened up his heart only to be rejected by her.  Angry and hurt, he's lashing out.  And more than willing to take Sookie down with him.  Eric/Sookie.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - This was partially inspired by a comment that Alexander Skarsgard made a few days ago. Basically, where does Eric go from here? How is he affected by the fact that he opened up his heart after such a long time only to be rejected by the one he loves? While I don't think this will ever happen on the show, I wanted to explore a different facet of the E/S relationship. This story isn't for everyone - especially if you're a fan of amnesiac!Eric.**

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It didn't take her long to spot Eric; after all, he was the center of attention and everyone's eyes were glued to him. Dressed in a black razor tank and jeans, he was sitting on that ridiculous throne in the middle of the stage, as if holding court over lesser vampires and fangbangers that were gathered here tonight at the bar. Although there were not as many people in Fangtasia as there used to be before the Russell Edgington scandal, there was still a healthy crowd she would have to fight through to reach Eric.

And before she faced him, Sookie needed a few drinks in her.

Shortly after, as she leaned against the bar, Sookie drank her beer and observed Eric. He was aware that she was here, she had sensed his irritation with her the moment she entered Fangtasia, but he had yet to acknowledge her presence. Considering this was the first time she was seeing Eric after ending things with him, it wasn't surprising he was purposely ignoring her.

Jealousy surged through her as various women approached Eric, throwing themselves at him one after the other, and he flirted back with equal enthusiasm, granting them all easy, charming smiles in return. He was being friendlier than usual, and Sookie knew it was all for her benefit. He was hurt and angry, and looking for a way to get back at her. And even though she understood the logic behind his actions, it didn't curb the sheer envy that coursed through her. It took every bit of willpower she had not to run up to the stage and pull those goddamn fangbangers away from him. She kept reminding herself he didn't belong to her, he could do whatever he damn well pleased, but none of it dissipated the nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach. And the beer was only intensifying the emotion.

After chugging her drink, she set the empty bottle aside and took a deep breath. It was time to confront him.

Sookie approached the stage hesitantly, fully aware of the imaginary daggers Pam was shooting at her. Unlike the first time she was introduced to Eric, Pam wasn't standing beside her maker but on the other side of the stage. And a part of Sookie was relieved at least she wouldn't have to deal with both Eric and Pam together.

Her gaze locked with Eric the moment she reached him but he simply looked away and focused his attention on the half-dressed redhead standing in front of her. Sookie clenched her jaw, and waited impatiently as he flirted with the girl. After what felt like an eternity, he asked Pam to get the redhead a drink before finally locking eyes with Sookie again.

"Whatever it is you're selling, Sookie, I'm not interested in buying," Eric remarked with a bored tone of voice, leaning back in his throne.

Despite his supposed lack of interest, his eyes slowly trailed down her body. She spotted the flicker of recognition in his gaze when he realized she was wearing the same sundress from the night they almost made love for the first time. And for a moment his face expressed the same vulnerability it did the last time they spoke, when she broke his heart and her own. But almost instantly his apathetic mask was back, settled firmly in place.

"I need your help. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important."

His eyebrow darted up, and a cold sneer curved across his face. "And what makes you think I would want to help you?"

"Because you care about me," she said without any hesitation.

"A problem I no longer suffer from, rest assured."

"Don't lie to me, Eric."

"And don't waste my time, Sookie. I'm not in the mood for your histrionics."

"Fine. Then help me because I've helped you _every_ time you've needed it," she bit out, no longer able to keep her temper in check.

"Not good enough. Try again."

"Fuck you!"

"You have," he smiled at her coldly. "Many, many times."

"And you're hell-bent on making me regret it, aren't you?"

"Frankly, I couldn't care less."

His eyes were an icy blue, distant and insincere. And it stung sharply that he was able to feign disinterest in her so convincingly.

"Now, if you don't mind, there are others here that require my attention."

With a casual wave of his hands, he gestured for her to leave. The flippant nature of his dismissal broke through the last of her control and Sookie found herself desperately struggling not to cry. "I'm not here for myself," she said with a trembling voice. "Tara needs help. She isn't doing well."

"Why should I be concerned with a human who has tried to kill my kind more than once?"

"Because she isn't human anymore, and you _know_ that. She hates me for asking Bill to turn her, and now she's-"

"The very thing she detests," Eric interjected, smirking. "The irony is quite amusing."

"She won't talk to anyone, she won't feed... Bill has had to restrain her because he's worried she'll walk into the sunlight. He doesn't know how to help her, how to make her understand and accept who she is... but you can."

"Tara is not my problem."

"You're her Sheriff and she's your fucking responsibility!" Sookie snapped.

"I'm not the one who made the choice to turn her into a vampire," he reminded her cruelly.

"I know. I was stupid and selfish... and I have to live with that decision. But it's done and there's nothing I can do to change it now."

"Except irritate me apparently."

"What do you want from me? Do you think it's easy for me to come here and beg you for help when I know how much I hurt you? It isn't!" Hating herself for the tears that streamed down her cheeks, she furiously swiped them away. "Tara needs someone right now who can force her to listen. I don't want her to go through life hating herself like Bill did. She needs to learn, to adapt, and you're the only one who can help her with that..."

There was a very subtle shift in his eyes, but she instantly sensed the grudging compassion in him. He _was_ going to help her after all.

"I really don't need another suicidal vampire in my area. They're a total drag," he sighed.

Despite his agreeable attitude, Sookie knew instinctively something was wrong. There was a hard glint in his gaze which wasn't there before, as if a wall had built itself around his heart that was guarding it from _her_.

"But my help comes with a price, Sookie," he said. "Quid pro quo and all that."

"I can't be with you, Eric."

His was a forced sneer, a cold facade to keep her away. "Don't flatter yourself. There have been many women before you, and there will certainly be a lot more after. I'm not pining away."

His words hurt her, like salt rubbing into an open wound. "Then what do you want?"

"Do you know what I discovered about you during our time together?"

"What?"

"You may only be an adequate lover, but you're quite gifted when it comes to your mouth."

A sick feeling shot through her. "Just spit it out."

"I hope not." Eric leaned forward, and she was once again reminded of how vicious he could be when he wanted to. "I will help you, Sookie, but only if you get down on your knees and suck me off. Right here. Right now."

She slapped him across the face as hard as she could.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Thank you for the wonderful comments and reviews on the last chapter. I would just like to say whilst I think Sookie can be a bit too much at times, I firmly both she and Eric are at fault when it comes to the mess of a relationship they are in. It wouldn't be very fun (or realistic) if there was only one person at fault now, would it? *winks* Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

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><p>Eric leaned forward, and Sookie was once again reminded of how vicious he could be when he wanted to.<p>

"I will help you, Sookie, but only if you get down on your knees and suck me off. Right here. Right now."

She slapped him across the face as hard as she could.

"That's a 'no' then?" Eric said at the same time Pam suddenly appeared beside her, her fangs out. Sookie yelped as Pam grabbed her arm, the vampire's perfectly manicured nails digging into her skin.

"You stupid bitch-"

"Pam," Eric interjected, and despite the calm tone of his voice, his simmering anger was apparent. "Not here. You know better." Sookie didn't need to use her telepathic skills to realize he was talking about Pam losing her temper in front of other humans. "Why don't you escort Ms. Stackhouse into my office where I'll deal with her personally?"

"Better yet, why don't I throw her out of here?" Pam offered, glaring at Sookie.

"Pam," Eric said sternly.

"Fine," Pam bit out.

Despite being furious with Eric, Sookie knew the best way to appeal to his generous side was to talk to him alone, away from prying eyes. She remained silent as Pam dragged her away from the stage and into his office, and finally threw her on the couch.

"Every time I think I've seen the limits of your stupidity, you manage to surprise me again," Pam said, his face contorted with disgust.

"Well, I'd hate to be predictable," Sookie snarked back, rubbing the spot Pam's nails had left crescent-shaped indentations on her skin.

"Your luck's run out, Sookie. He's finally realized not even faerie blood is worth putting up with your trailer-trash inbred ass."

"Don't worry, Pam. I'm not here to steal him away from you."

"As if you could."

Refusing to get into a sparring match with Pam, Sookie shut up and simply rolled her eyes. Thankfully, Pam exited the room right after,

Left alone to her devices, Sookie leaned back on the couch, and pondered her options.

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><p>An hour later, when he still hadn't made his entrance, she walked over to his desk and started sifting through the papers that were cluttered on his desk, organizing them into neat piles. If he was going to leave her alone here for so long, he had only himself to blame for her cleaning up after him, she mused. His chair, big and imposing just like the man himself, was much more comfortable than she had initially thought. Taking a seat, she curled up on the chair, and was suddenly struck by how much of his scent had been absorbed by the fabric. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend he was holding her in his arms, whispering to her. And that feeling of nostalgia returned with a vengeance, starting in the pit of her stomach and swiftly sweeping through her until it had transformed into sadness, and she was fully overcome by it.<p>

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><p>Sookie woke up to find Eric leaning in front of her, his eyes piercing right into her. Her brain addled with sleep, she stared into the warm, gentle blue of his eyes, reminded of the man she had fallen hopelessly in love with. Reaching forward, she touched his face, her fingers caressing his skin, and his eyes shone brighter by the second, revealing the same vulnerability that still made her insides quiver. She had fought so hard against seeing this part of him, but she had always known it was there. Now, she couldn't ignore it even if she wanted to.<p>

"Eric," she whispered, caressing his lips with her hand. He never felt cold to her, he was always warm to the touch, even though she knew as a vampire that's how his skin was supposed to feel. Maybe it had something to do with the bond they shared.

Her thumb lingered over his bottom lip, and she shivered when he slipped it inside his mouth, sucking on the digit gently and simultaneously stroking it with his tongue. Their gazes locked, he watched her enthralled, and she felt the combined intensity of his desire and her own passion. He wanted more, as did she.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I want you to."

She trembled when his fangs punctured through her skin. Soon, caught up in pain and pleasure as he drank her blood, she scooted closer to him, experiencing the keen ecstasy of his gaze upon her and the sensuous way he worked her with his mouth. But it wasn't enough. Not even close. "Eric," she whispered, grazing his forehead with her own while her other hand lingered on his exposed chest thanks to the razor tanks he preferred. "Touch me."

She didn't need to ask him twice.

He captured her mouth with his own, and she experienced the overwhelming emotion in him as he kissed her roughly - not smoothed, not practiced, not one of slow and sweet seduction, but one of complete desperation. He was consumed by her as she was him, and it was threatening to burn them up from the inside if they didn't give in to it.

She pulled his jacket and tank top off as he ripped the straps of her dress apart effortlessly, and while she struggled to unzip his jeans, he tore off her bra and panties.

It was a battle between them to possess the other, and neither one wanted to concede.

She pushed him down on the floor and willed him to stay still long enough to lower his boxers but he had other plans as he rolled over simultaneously, taking her with him. Pinned underneath him, she groaned as his tongue licked her nipples, stroking them, suckling them until they were hardened nubs and she was writhing. "You're a fucking tease, Eric!" she grit out.

And he smiled at her, his face beaming with arrogance. "Would you like me to stop?"

"Fuck you!"

"Don't worry; you will."

Sick of his taunts, she grabbed his face, pulled him closer, and kissed him to shut him up. He may think he was in control because of his strength, but Sookie knew when she was devouring him with her mouth, he was putty in her hands.

Using all her strength she rolled him over again, and straddled him.

Her body crushed against his, she trailed wet kisses down his neck, and then his chest, licking him, tasting him as she slowly made her way down to his cock. He was hard - not really a surprise - and while she undressed him completely, Eric watched her through hooded eyes when she finally took him inside her mouth. She played with him, teasing him, taunting him with her hands and mouth, sucking him off, and his fingers laced through her hair, his grip tightening as his groans grew louder. "Sookie," he moaned. "Fuck…"

"Don't worry, you will," she repeated with a wicked smile,

And just as quickly as she had gained the upper hand, she lost it when he used his vamp speed to trap her underneath him.

"You're a sore loser," she grumbled.

He dropped a tender kiss on the tip of her nose. "Maybe, but I won't be the one sore tomorrow."

She giggled, but soon she was crying out with ecstasy while he seduced her with his mouth, sucking her clit, tweaking it, licking and tasting her. Positioned between her legs, and with her feet locked together behind his head, he fucked her with his tongue expertly, bringing her to orgasm over and over again, first with only his mouth and then with his hands, and she quivered under him as the waves of pleasure washed over her.

And then Eric was penetrating her, thrusting into her, assaulting her with the same intensity of his gaze as he was with the rest of his body. She held on to him, clung to him, digging into his back so roughly she broke his skin. When the pain caused by friction of her bare back rubbing against the rug on the floor became unbearable, he pulled her up and carried her over to the couch. She was the one who controlled the rhythm now, straddling him while he was deep inside her, cradling his face in her hands.

She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, how much she missed him, how the thought of not being with him was unbearable to her but being _with_ him was even more terrifying. She didn't.

When they both reached their peaks, she hugged him tightly while he came inside her, and swallowed his groan into her mouth the same way he had earlier. Breathless and panting, she tightened her grip around him and didn't let go even when he shifted them to lie down on the couch.

Later, her face hidden in the crook of his neck, she was stretched along on top of him while he played with her hair.

"Do you remember when you wanted us to leave Bon Temps?" she asked.

"Yes."

"I wish we had."

His only response was a tender kiss on her temple.

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><p>It was a long time before either of them spoke. She was afraid to; she didn't want this moment to end even though they both knew it had to.<p>

"You don't need to worry about Tara. I'll see to it she gets the help she needs," he finally said.

Instead of feeling comforted by his words, she realized he was withdrawing from her. "Thank you."

"I wouldn't want you to waste your time and effort and not gain something out of it."

His voice was cold and distant as he moved away from her, and she watched helplessly as he turned his back and walked over to where his clothes lay on the floor.

"Tara had nothing to do with why I made love to you."

Wearing only his jeans, he confronted her again. "Call it what you like. For me, this was a goodbye fuck."

"You think hurting and humiliating me is going to make the pain go away? You think it'll make you stop feeling?" she fired back.

"Yes," he growled.

"Well then, you're an idiot." Standing up, she walked over to where her torn dress lay on the floor, fully aware of his eyes following her naked form the entire time. "I didn't want to fall in love with you, but I did." She stepped into her dress which barely held together. "And I didn't want to hurt you, but I did anyway. Trying to control feelings and emotions is useless. Believe me."

"Believe you?" he mocked. "Never again."

"Whatever." Holding her dress up, she slipped into her sandals. "If you want to act like a thousand year old brat, there's nothing I can do to stop you."

"Stay the fuck away from me, Sookie," he threatened in such a cold manner she felt a shiver travel down her spine. "Don't come here again; don't bother me again. I don't care how much trouble you and your worthless friends are in, I don't want anything to do with you."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"I'm not interested in your reasons."

"Even though you _know_ I've never lied to you?"

"I don't care. You chose to walk away. Now I want you to _stay_ away."

She realized there was a part of him now she couldn't touch; he had buried his emotions in such a deep place she couldn't even sense them anymore. Silently, she walked out of his office, and passed a smug Pam along the way.

It wasn't until Sookie was in her car, far away from Eric, that she finally broke into tears.


	3. Chapter 3

Sookie was in the midst of brushing her wet hair when her gaze fell on the picture that was sitting on top of the vanity table. Taking a seat in front of the mirror, she set the hairbrush aside and picked up the picture frame. The photo was taken on Sookie's fourteenth birthday where Jason had been too busy flirting with the other girls to help carry the cake. Finally, Gran had yelled at him to come over that instant or she was going to tell these girls an embarrassing story about him. Grudgingly he had walked over, and had taken the picture of Gran, Sookie and Tara together several minutes later.

Staring at the picture, Sookie swallowed the lump in her throat.

Today was the anniversary of her Grandmother's death, and even though it had been two years since she passed (less for Sookie given that she had lost out more than a year of her own life), it still felt like it was just yesterday Gran was ripped away from her.

Now so was Tara and, once again, Sookie was the one responsible.

Sookie had tried several times to see her, but Tara had refused her each time. Today she had attempted again, hoping Tara would go to Gran's grave with her. Tara said she would pay tribute to Gran in her own way, but not with Sookie.

She and Tara had been involved in countless arguments over the years. Some were so bad she never thought they could get past them but they had always managed to come together. But not this time, maybe not ever, and the reality of that filled her with complete despair.

It was a while before Sookie realized she wasn't alone in her room. Eric was several feet behind her, standing by the door, staring at her reflection. Not bothering to turn around, she placed the picture back on the table before meeting his gaze in the mirror. "What are you doing here?"

"I _am_ still the owner of this property," he reminded her arrogantly.

Irritation surged through her, but she fought the urge to argue with him. "I'm not in the mood, Eric."

"Make no mistake, neither am I. I have more important business to attend to."

"Then what do you want?"

"Leave Tara alone or you will ruin all progress I've made with her."

A sharp sting shot through her heart. If his words didn't hurt so much, she would laugh at the irony of Eric trying to protect _Tara_ from _her_. "I didn't realise you guys were so close."

His eyebrow arched up, as he slid his hands inside his pocket. "Jealous?"

She was but she'd be damned if she admitted that to him. "Fine, I'll stay away from Tara for her sake."

Sookie watched in the mirror as he swaggered towards her, and when his eyes fell on the bed they had shared not too long ago, she spotted the very same vulnerable expression on his face that always set her heart racing. But just as quickly as it had appeared, it vanished.

"_You_ asked me to help her."

Eric had stropped mid-stride, no longer drawing closer. Distant once again.

"I know," she sighed. "Thank you."

Gazed locked, they observed each other intently. A part of her wondered if he had any idea how much it hurt to see him again, especially in this room where they had shared so many intimate moments, locked away from rest of the world.

He may have despised her for breaking his heart, but it was easier to deal with his hatred than to face what being with him entailed. Her grandmother was dead, Tara was now the very thing she hated, all the troubles Jason, Lafayette and Sam had encountered, not to mention all the times Bill had risked his life – all because of her.

She brought nothing but pain to the ones who loved her.

After Debbie killed Tara and Sookie had made the stupid decision to ask Bill to turn her, it became even more apparent she had made the right choice to distance herself from others. In the heat of the moment Sookie couldn't stop herself from being irrational and selfish. What if she repeated the same mistakes again? She couldn't trust herself not to.

Plus with the faerie blood running through her veins, Eric would always have to be on guard to protect her secret; which meant she was a constant risk of danger to him. He, along with Bill, had already agreed to true death once just to save her life; she didn't think she could stand it if he had to make the same decision again.

When it came down to it, there really was no choice. She had to stay away from him.

"It's late and I'm tired," she said, standing up.

"Is that my cue to leave?" he sneered.

"Do whatever you want."

"In that case maybe I should pay your very lonely best friend a visit. I'm sure she'll enjoy my company."

He was trying to provoke her into a jealous fit and, sadly, it was working. "If it means you getting out of here, I'm all for it," she gritted out before heading to bed. Despite his refusal to leave, she slid under the covers and turned to her side – and away from his intrusive gaze.

She closed her eyes and waited for him to go, but she could still feel him watching her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, breaking the uneasy silence in the room several minutes later.

"Nothing."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I don't really care."

He didn't respond to her, remaining unusually silent.

After what felt like an eternity, he turned off the light and shut the door behind him, leaving her alone.

Finally, she completely crumbled. 

Sookie felt his touch before she even consciously realized Eric had returned to the room. Within seconds his arm snaked under and around her, pulling her against his chest. She should have asked him to leave, but she didn't, and he didn't press her to speak. Instead he simply held her in a tight embrace while she continued to vent out her frustrations in the form of tears.

It was a long while before she calmed down and he remained next to her throughout the whole time, silent but present.

At some point she fell asleep in his arms with his fingers gently stroking her hair and his soft, comforting murmurs lulling her into a peaceful slumber.

When she woke up next it was still dark outside, but Eric was no longer beside her. Sookie knew instinctively he had already left.

She was all alone. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sookie set the plate of food down in front of Alcide and gave him a brief smile. "Here you go."

"Thank you," Alcide replied.

His gaze lingered on her, as if he was debating saying more, and she quickly spoke up before he could. "I'll talk to you later, ok? It's a madhouse in here tonight."

Merlotte's wasn't busier than usual, but the last thing she wanted was a conversation with Alcide. After all, what could she really say to him? 'Sorry I killed your psychotic ex' didn't exactly sound very sincere. Not to mention the fact she wasn't sorry about Debbie. Not at all.

Sookie quickly hurried over to the table of new customers that Jessica had just seated, grateful for the distraction. She was in the midst of taking their order when there was a flurry of nervous excitement amongst the customers. Turning around, she realized exactly why people were suddenly tense. Tara had just entered Merlotte's, along with Pam and Eric.

The people of Bon Temps have never been kind to Tara. As a result, Tara had always treated them with equal disgust. Now that she was a vampire, her hostility had increased tenfold.

Tara as a new vampire would have made people anxious enough, but with Pam and Eric by her side – and the fear they instinctively evoked – people were downright terrified as hell.

Even though she had heard through the grapevine – Jessica – that Tara was working at Fangtasia now, this was the first time Sookie was seeing the three of them together; it was a shock to see them interacting with each other. Tara seemed extremely comfortable around Pam and Eric – like they had been lifelong friends – and it pissed Sookie off. It was selfish of her, she knew, but the idea of Tara quickly replacing her with others filled her with sadness. She still felt the hollow emptiness left behind by Tara's absence, but Tara didn't seem to share the feeling.

Tara briefly glimpsed at Sookie before directing her attention to the crowd of people that were gawking at her.

"I see the clientele hasn't gotten any better here," Tara remarked loudly while Pam chuckled.

"Now, now. Trailer trash need to have fun nights out as well," Pam snarked.

Hands in his pocket, Eric merely smiled and swaggered forward until he was standing in the middle of the room. Sookie couldn't help but notice he was purposely avoiding her gaze. Tara, however, gave her a hostile glance before continuing deriding everyone around her.

Sick of their cruel taunts, Sookie marched towards Eric. When she reached him, and he was finally forced to look at her, she found herself unable to speak or even breathe. The last time she had seen him he had held her in his arms, consoled her and kissed her tears away. She had felt horribly alone and hopeless until he'd reminded her in his own way she wasn't. Ever since that night she wondered how she could possibly stay away from Eric when she was so completely in love with him. But the moment she was reminded of Tara and all the other horrible things that had happened to the people she loved, Sookie was paralysed with fear, and her resolve to keep away from him returned with a vengeance.

Caught in his gaze - and with her guard temporarily down - she was suddenly bombarded with everyone's thoughts and fears which swiftly pulled her back to reality. Shaking herself out of it, she glared up at Eric. "Why are you here, Eric?"

"Is this how you greet all of your customers?"

"Just the ones that can't play nice," Sookie replied. "Tara and Pam are scaring people."

"And I'm not?" he sneered.

Sookie rolled her eyes. "We're busy. What do you want?"

"I have business with the shifter."

"Sam's not here."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. He said he'll be gone for a while and left me in charge."

"You? Are you fucking kidding me?" Tara snickered from the other end of the room, obviously using her vampire hearing skills to use. "I can count on one hand how many times you've actually shown up for work."

"If you're that concerned, why don't you help out?" Sookie retorted, instantly regretting her harsh tone of voice.

"So you can feel superior when you order me around? I don't think so. Not anymore."

"What are you talking about, Tara? When have I ever done that?"

"How about the entire time I was fucking alive?" Tara yelled back.

"I've always treated you like family. You _know_that."

"Family? No wonder I ended up dead!"

"You bi-"

Before Sookie could even finish venting, Tara was suddenly in her face.

"Go ahead, say it," Tara dared, her fangs out.

"Ladies, no need to drudge up old memories," Eric said, stepping in between them. Despite the breezy smile on his face, Sookie could sense his irritation.

"Especially of the boring variety," Pam piped up, clearly annoyed.

"I think you guys need to leave," Alcide said, walking up behind Sookie.

"You do, do you?" Eric sneered.

"Aw, the good little dog is protecting his bitch."

Sookie slapped Tara across the face before she even realized what she was doing, and then all hell broke loose. People started screaming while Tara was about to rip into Sookie's neck and then suddenly Sookie was pushed to the floor and Tara thrown against the wall by Eric.

"Are you alright?" Alcide asked, hovering over her.

"I'm fine," Sookie replied, leaning on Alcide for support as she stood up.

She watched as Eric whispered quietly to Tara, anger evident in his features, before turning around to look at her. His lips were pursed into a thin line, and there was contempt in his face, and Sookie realized she desperately needed to get out of here.

"I need some air. Can you just make sure they leave?" she asked Alcide.

"Yes, of course."

Sookie rushed out of the dining area and through the kitchen before she finally ran outside via the back door. Gulping in the fresh air, she leaned against the wall and touched the sore spot in her neck where Tara had almost bitten her. Just thinking about how far her relationship with Tara had deteriorated made her sick. And knowing it was all her _own_ fault intensified the guilt. She didn't blame Tara for hating her, how could she? Tara had died protecting _her_and instead of doing the right thing and honouring the memory of her best friend Sookie had been incredibly selfish and asked Bill to turn Tara into a vampire.

"Well, that was entertaining."

Sookie opened her eyes and glared at Eric as he casually sauntered over to where she was, stopping a few feet away from her.

"I want you to leave and take Pam and Tara with you."

"We all want things, Sookie. Doesn't mean we get them."

Eric was trying to provoke her into an argument, and although she was incredibly pissed she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "What do you want with Sam?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business."

"You better not hurt him or-"

"Or what?" he interjected, levelling her with a hard stare. "What will you do you haven't done already?"

She felt the pain behind his words even as he remained cold and distant with her. A part of her wanted to reach out to him, but she didn't. She couldn't. "Why did you bring Tara here?"

"Because she was ready to confront her old life."

"Ready? She's angry and pissed off!"

"What else is new?" Eric countered. "The sooner she leaves behind her old self, the quicker she'll adapt to her new one."

"Looks like she's already halfway there," Sookie muttered bitterly and instantly felt guilty for doing so. Especially when Eric quirked his eyebrow and confronted her about it.

"Isn't this what you wanted? Isn't that why you came to me?" he reminded her. "Or were you hoping I would tell her to forgive you and beg for your friendship back? And maybe then the two of you could go back to having petty arguments while braiding each other's hair?"

"Go to hell!" she raged, attempting to walk away when he used his vamp speed to stop her. His fingers gripped around her elbow, and he pulled her close against him. "Let me go, you bastard!" she gritted through clenched teeth.

"You don't like it that she's moving on from you, do you?" he sneered, holding on to her tightly while she struggled against him. "And you _hate_that she's doing it with me," he said with relish.

"I hate _you_!" she raged and struck him across the face – which had no effect on him.

"She's quite feisty. And you may be surprised to find out she doesn't mind being tied up for hours," he taunted, smiling cruelly. "Actually, she loves it."

Images of Eric and Tara together flashed through Sookie's brain and whatever control she did possess dissolved instantly. "Are you fucking her?" she demanded, gripping the lapels of his leather jacket. There were tears streaming down her face but she was past the point of keeping up her uncaring facade. The thought of Eric sleeping with Tara made her want to wretch and in turn Sookie wanted to hurt _him_the way he was hurting her. "Are you?" she asked again.

"And what if I am?"

"Fuck you!" she screamed over and over again, simultaneously slapping him, attempting to push him away and digging her fingernails into him as he continued to hold on to her tightly.

"You expect me to be loyal even though you don't want anything to do with me?" he raged back. "I'm not Bill, and I'm not like your precious little bitch in there!" No longer cold and aloof, his eyes sparkled with fury as he threw Alcide in her face.

Then, while she continued to pound her fists into his chest, he grabbed her and kissed her so roughly she felt her bottom lip start to bleed. She returned his kiss with equal fervour, determined to hurt him the way he did her.

Eric always kissed her with such desperation, as if he was dying and she was his only salvation. Fisting her hair he pushed her against the wall, and she clung to him as hard as she could. She wanted to remind him that he was _hers_, that she possessed him as much as he did her, and if he thought he could just forget her by fucking her best friend he was wrong.

Tearing himself away from her, he stared into her eyes while his hand slid down between her legs, stroking her over her shorts. "I didn't," he said hoarsely. "I could have fucked her, but I didn't."

Relief surged through her immediately, and before she could talk herself out of it, she grasped his shirt and pulled him closer. "The thought of you with her...I..."

"I know," he moaned, grazing her temple with his lips.

"It tears me up," she continued, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Good."

Whatever reason she possessed at that moment disappeared when he undid the buttons of her shorts, slipped past her panties and slid his fingers inside.


	5. Chapter 5

Whatever reason Sookie possessed at that moment disappeared when Eric unbuttoned her shorts just enough to push past her panties and slip his fingers inside.

Her breaths came in shallow spurts as he continued to tease her, pleasuring her, and she bit into his skin to alleviate the pressure that was quickly building inside.

Sookie wondered if this all consuming need for Eric would ever end. Even when she hated him in the past, she was still aware of the keen attraction she felt for him. As hard as she tried to ignore it, bury it deep within her, it was always there, brewing just below the surface, so apparent even Bill recognized it. Now that she was in love with Eric, the desire had only intensified.

"Look at me," he whispered, his voice hoarse with passion.

She did. With great difficulty considering how expertly his fingers were working her. And then he kissed her softly, gently, and with such tenderness it made her heart ache.

Just as she reached to unzip his jeans, Pam's acerbic tone interrupted their intimate moment.

"If the two of you are done fucking, we need to get back to Fangtasia."

_"Not. Now._" Eric growled.

There was no mistaking the fierceness in his voice. Any argument and Pam would suffer the consequences.

Pam was gone instantly but it was already too late. When he leaned closer to kiss her again, his fingers still pulsing inside her, Sookie pushed him away as hard as she could. "Eric, no. Stop."

His eyes flashed with frustration, and his lips pursed into a thin line. "Why?"

Carefully avoiding his gaze, she pulled up her shorts and started to button them. "Because I'm not one of your fangbangers you can just fuck whenever you feel like it."

"You prefer being a tease?" he said dryly.

"Go to hell."

Sookie knew she needed to get out of there, quickly, or this was going to turn into another argument. And considering how their last argument ended...

She ran back inside, slamming the door behind her, grateful Eric chose not to follow her.

Hours later, after a shower and two glasses of wine, Sookie found herself standing in the cubby Eric had built for himself in her home. This was only the second time she'd been down here since the situation with Marnie had blown up and everything had gone to hell.

The flannel shirt she'd bought for him was still sitting on the bed, freshly washed from the last time she'd come down here. And the book he'd been reading lay open, face down, on the nightstand table – just like he'd left it there.

Flooded with the memories of all their time here together, she walked to the bed and took a seat. Even though the linens had been cleaned, she could almost smell his scent on the fabric. Something deep stirred inside her and she found herself reaching for his flannel shirt before draping it over her legs and lying back on the bed.

She could still feel his fingers thrumming inside her from earlier, bringing her so close to the edge it was almost painful when she had to force him to stop. And his mouth... she loved the way his kiss could transform from angry and possessive one minute to heartbreakingly gentle the next.

Every part of her ached for him, not just physically but emotionally as well. The way he held her tightly in his arms when he was thrusting inside her, the sparkle in his eyes when she had her fingers or mouth wrapped around his cock and he was about to lose control, how he nipped her chin or grazed her forehead to calm her down when she was writhing underneath him, pleading with him to make her come.

Soon her body was trembling, quivering in reaction to her fingers, while she stroked herself with Eric's name on her lips.

Eyes closed, lips open, she imagined his mouth sensually moving along every inch of her body, claiming her as his own. Just like him, their lovemaking was spontaneous, unpredictable, and wild. When she wanted it to be slow, he would take her fast. Then there were times when she wanted him desperately, but he would take his time and drive her absolutely crazy until she was practically begging him to finish her off.

"Eric," she murmured, mimicking the way he rubbed her clit while she slid a finger inside.

Then, all of a sudden, she felt someone's hand on the most intimate part of her.

Her eyes flew open, and she found herself face-to-face with Eric. He was hovering above her, watching her as if he was under a hypnotic daze, his eyes the most intense shade of blue.

"Eric?" Still dazed and confused, she practically jumped when his thumb massaged over her clit.

"Don't stop," he whispered, dropping a chaste kiss on her lips and forcing her to lie back again. His voice strained, body tense, he joined in pleasuring her, placing his hand on top of hers and motioning her to continue her rhythm, helping her but not taking charge.

He wanted her to finish, to do this her own way.

And she did.

With his legs probing hers open while he shifted himself onto his side, and their gazes locked, she brought herself to climax. It was _his_name she groaned when she went over the edge, and his body she clung to while her heart raced in her chest, ready to explode. And as the tremors slowly washed over her, and she drifted back to reality from the high she had just reached, it was Eric who she shared a slow and languid kiss with.

It was a while before anyone spoke. Instead they lay relaxed, facing each other, their legs intertwined.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" she asked, staring into his eyes.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you're here, you're smiling." She placed a tender kiss on his shoulder. "And you're not mad at me."

Her words yielded an expression of regret from him. He laced his fingers through her hair with the softest of touch. "I'm angry because you keep pushing me away."

"I have to."

"No, you don't."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"And what do you think you're doing now?" he fired back.

Sookie didn't reply, instead resting the side of her face on his chest, the top of her head tucked in below his chin. She didn't know how long they remained in that position, only that she'd never felt more protected.

"You don't love Bill."

She smiled against his skin. Even when he tried to keep the possessiveness out of his voice, he failed miserably.

"No, that's not true. I'll always love him but... I'm not in love with him. Not anymore."

"Because you're in love with me?"

Sookie sensed the anxiousness in him, as if he was waiting for her to argue. She debated remaining silent, to let him think the worst, but she couldn't. "I am," she replied, tracing her lips along his exposed clavicle. "Completely."

This was a dream she never wanted to end - especially when he rolled over, causing her to land under him, and closed his mouth over hers.


	6. Chapter 6

Sookie realised last night wasn't a dream when she woke up to find Eric nestled behind her. He was sleeping quietly, his mouth pressed against her shoulder blade, arm thrown over her naked waist while his long legs lay securely intertwined with hers. One quick glance at the clock told her it was morning, and Eric wasn't going to be waking up anytime soon. Taking advantage of this rare peaceful moment between them, she reached down to grab his arm and wrap it around her chest.

It was easy to be hopeful when it was just the two of them hidden in this little enclave away from rest of the world. As long as they didn't let anyone in, nothing bad could touch them.

Turning around, she observed Eric for a while as he lay completely still next to her, not moving or breathing. Eventually she reached up to trace his features with her fingers, amused by how serene and angelic he appeared in his sleep - nothing like the snarky rascal that always had a way of getting under her skin. Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Soon she would have to get up and face reality, but – for now - she just wanted to cling to this surreal moment as long as possible. 

88888

Sookie had just returned from work and was in the midst of climbing her porch stairs when she heard Eric appear behind her. A part of her had hoped he would just let things be after last night, but she knew him too well to know that would happen.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to sneak out after a night of great sex without even saying 'thank you'?"

The deadpan humour in his voice almost brought a smile to her face but she stifled it and turned around to face him. His close proximity set her heart racing, especially since she was at eye-level with him thanks to her position on the porch. "I'm sure you've done it many times over the years," she retorted.

"No, _I'm_ not a coward. There's no need for me to fuck and sneak out when I'm honest about my intentions beforehand."

"It's not like I forced you to come last night," she reminded him.

"You're right; there was no need for force." He cocked his eyebrow, and a wicked glint sparkled in his eyes. "And from what I remember, there were quite a few times you made me come last night."

A dark blush slowly spread across her cheeks as she remembered exactly what she was doing when Eric interrupted her. And from the knowing smirk displayed on his face right now, he was enjoying her discomfort. "Please don't embarrass me."

"Why would I do that?" The smile on his face stiffened, and he levelled her with a keen gaze. "Because you keep pushing me away but then get off on fantasies about me when you think I'm not around?"

And there it was: the anger that simmered beneath every conversation they shared these days.

"Look, I'm tired."

When Eric stepped up on the porch, advancing towards her, she retreated.

"No doubt from last night," he taunted suggestively, trapping her against the door.

"Eric, don't. Don't do this."

"Do what? Look at you? Talk to you? Touch you?"

She found herself unable to look away, transfixed by his piercing gaze, when he leaned in closer.

"I can smell the excitement rushing through your blood when I'm close to you," he whispered. "Like right now."

Sookie swallowed an audible breath.

"And I can feel every part of you _aching_ for me to touch you."

He placed his hand on her chest, the very spot where her heart resided, and she exhaled a sharp breath in response.

"And when I'm inside you, I can hear your heart racing so fast I worry it's going to explode."

His hand slowly moved up until he was cupping her face, his thumb grazing her skin, before he rested his temple against her own.

"But I also realised something else about you last night."

Her breath hitched in her throat but somehow she managed to squeak out a response. "What?"

"You're completely terrified about being in love with me."

His spell over her was now definitely broken.

"Eric, let me go."

"The fear inside you is so strong it drowns out everything else."

She tried to push him away, shove him hard, but her attempts were futile; he didn't budge.

"Tell me why you're afraid, Sookie."

"You know why," she fired back, angry at him for pushing her for answers. "You've hurt people I love."

"No, that's not why you're scared," he stated directly, clearly unfazed by her words. "Don't lie to me."

Maybe it was the earnestness in his eyes, or maybe it was the fact she was just exhausted of always arguing with him, but Sookie found herself suddenly crumbling.

"Whatever it is, I can protect you," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and holding her in a tight embrace.

"I'm not the one who needs protection, Eric."

"Meaning?"

She leaned back to gaze up at him, scrutinizing him, and he returned her intense glare. After a few seconds, she turned around to unlock the door. Taking his hand in hers, she led him inside and through the living room until they reached the kitchen. Staring down at the very spot which always appeared blood-stained no matter how many times she scrubbed it clean, she squeezed Eric's hand.

"This is where my Gran was killed."

"I know."

She glanced up at him. "No. You don't _know_, you've only _heard_. I came home and found her dead on the floor. Bloody, beaten. Dead. Murdered by someone who I thought was a friend but who hated me so much he came here to kill _me_ but found her instead."

Eric remained silent, his face devoid of any emotion.

"See that spot over there?" she asked, pointing to it. "That's where Tara took a bullet for me. That was where I held her as she lay dying, shot by someone else who came here to kill _me_."

"It wasn't your fault."

She scoffed at his words. "Do you know how many times Jason and Lafayette have risked their lives for me?"

"Hopefully as many times as you have for them."

Sookie stared at Eric, the sinking feeling of despair growing in her stomach as she realised he didn't understand her at all. 


	7. Chapter 7

Sookie stared at Eric. "You don't get it," she whispered, the feeling of despair growing in her stomach as she realized he really didn't understand her.

He took a step closer. "Then _help_ me."

She dropped his hand and walked over to the kitchen table, her heart filled with the same hopelessness that seemed to have saturated her whole existence lately. Her back turned to him, she took a seat. In the stillness of the night she could still feel his gaze scrutinizing her with concern and impatience, aching for answers but afraid to push her too hard for them.

"I feel like I'm sinking," she confessed softly, her eyes glued to the table. "I think for a long time now… but there were always distractions and bigger problems to worry about and I didn't have to dwell on it, let myself feel any of it…"

Before she even took her next breath Eric was pulling out the seat next to her and sitting down; she didn't look at him.

"But now the weight is too heavy," she continued, "and as hard as I want to fight it, I can't. I used to think if I could just hold on to someone – anyone – it wouldn't get me, I wouldn't sink, but instead it's the people I love who are being pulled down…

He took her hands in his. "Hold on to _me_."

She finally met his gaze, and the intensity and concern in his face made her stomach tremble. "I can't, Eric. Everyone around me keeps getting hurt. The people I love… they're the ones paying the price for me."

He gave her an affectionate smile before reaching closer to run his fingers through her hair. "I'm over a thousand years old, Sookie. You don't need to protect me."

"Really?" she questioned. "Then why did you agree to true death when Marnie demanded it? How come you didn't even try and negotiate with her? You, Eric, you're supposed to be smarter than that, you're not supposed to react emotionally like Bill did… but you agreed so easily-"

"It was _your life_, Sookie. I wasn't going to let her hurt you," he growled.

Her eyes welled up and she leaned back in her chair, pulling her hands away from his grip. "I know. I make you vulnerable."

"Did you expect me to do _nothing_?"

"I didn't think you would just give up without a fight, without a plan… you're a survivor, Eric, you're not supposed to concede. When Russell came after you, you did what you had to protect yourself _and_ me even if it meant letting me think the worst of you… you did what you had to. With Marnie, _you didn't even try_ and that's what scares me."

"Do you want me to say I regret it? I don't," he bit out.

She shrugged her shoulders, and tears slowly streaked down her face. "Then you know why we can't be together."

Eric stood up suddenly, and threw his chair behind him. She could see the anger vibrating off of him, felt his explosive rage inside her as he confronted her. "Those were extreme circumstances. There was no time to think, to plan-"

"Stop it, Eric. Stop making excuses. I'm a danger to you and you know it."

"Do you think I'm so weak I can't protect you and myself?"

"No!" she said, frustrated. "I think it's only a matter of time before others realize you would willingly sacrifice yourself for my life. That _I'm_ your weakness, Eric." She leapt up while he still towered over her, and cradled his face in her hands. "I couldn't bear it if something happened to you, if I lost you."

"I know what you want, Sookie, but the answer is no. I'm not going to stay away from you."

Furious with him, Sookie shoved him hard, and despite it having no effect on him, it did make her feel better to physically vent out her frustrations. "Haven't you heard a single thing I've said?"

"What I heard is that you're grieving, scared, but playing the martyr and punishing yourself is not going to go make you feel better - no matter how much you may think you deserve it."

"You condescending jackass-"

"There she is," he interjected, infuriating her even more when he beamed proudly at her. "There's the Sookie I know. She doesn't run and hide when things get tough; she fights back with everything she has."

"Whatever." Sitting back down, she glared up at him. "I don't even know why I bothered to tell you anything. It's not like you really understand."

Eric's jaw clenched, and a dark shadow flickered over his face.

He didn't have to say anything; she knew instinctively he was thinking about Godric. She still remembered exactly how torn up Eric had been over losing his maker; how much pain and anguish it had caused him to let Godric go. Those events were permanently etched into her brain because it was the first time she had truly realized Eric was more than just the cold-hearted, smug rascal he always pretended to be – he was someone who was also capable of deep love.

Regret washed over her as she realized how foolish she must have just sounded to him. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that."

Eric remained silent for several minutes, as if carefully choosing his next words. When he finally spoke again, she was unprepared for the vulnerability that laced his tone. "I know what it's like to be filled with guilt, Sookie," he said, looking down at her as he slid his hands into this pocket. "Russell Edgington slaughtered my family when I was still human. I should have done something to save them but I was foolish and helpless and I did nothing. I thought avenging them would help ease the guilt but it's still inside me, as it has been for over a thousand years."

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him down until he was kneeling in front of her, their gazes locked. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Godric saved me from myself. Over and over again. If it wasn't for him, I would have destroyed myself a long time ago."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she tucked her finger under his chin and rested her forehead against his. "Eric, what you and Godric shared was truly amazing… but you know it's not _your _responsibility to save me, don't you?"

He studied her intently, and the strange glint in his eyes suddenly left her feeling wary.

"It could be," he answered. "If you let me turn you."


	8. Chapter 8

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Sookie tucked her finger under Eric's chin and rested her forehead against his. "What you and Godric shared was truly amazing… but you know it's not _your _responsibility to save me, don't you?"

He studied her intently, and the strange glint in his eyes suddenly left her feeling wary.

"It could be," he answered. "If you let me turn you."

It took a few seconds for his words to sink in completely. He was offering to turn her. _Turn her_. And the thought made her sick to her stomach. She didn't want to be a vampire; she never did. Maybe she wasn't completely human but she couldn't imagine being anything else either.

After her parents had passed away and she came to live with Gran, her grandmother would soothe her tears away and console her with the promise Sookie would see her parents again in the afterlife, that this separation was merely temporary. Sookie wasn't religious, and over time she came to realize those promises may just have been wishful thinking, but a part of her still clung to that hope – however ridiculous it may be. The thought of being a vampire, being immortal, to go through years and years of life growing hardened and possibly losing her humanity altogether was absolutely horrifying to her. She knew vampires were not all the same – just like human beings – and there were some who were truly capable of deep love and kindness but they were the exception, not the norm, and she didn't want to be like that.

"Sookie?"

She pulled away from Eric, shaking her head vigorously. "No, no… I can't. I don't want that at all."

Eric's jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed. "You find the idea so repulsive?"

She could sense the anger vibrating from him. While she regretted her volatile response and wished she had let him down more gently, she also needed him to understand becoming a vampire was never going to happen. "I'm sorry, Eric, but no… I don't want to be a vampire. Ever. I'm human-"

"Not completely," Eric pointed out. He stood up and put some distance between them, withdrawing from her.

She stared at him, her eyes pleading with him to understand. "Fine, maybe not completely, but it is who I am. It's all I've ever known."

"You consented to marry Bill not too long ago," he said, his voice laden with resentment. "Do you really expect me to believe you hadn't even considered being a vampire when you accepted his proposal?"

Sookie stood up. "Bill and I never talked about it," she protested, realizing how foolish that must have sounded to Eric.

"How did you hope to have a real marriage without letting him turn you, when you grew old and weak every year and he remained the same?"

"Oh," she said, taken aback. "Is that what you're worried about, Eric? Being stuck with me while I get old?"

"I'm over a thousand years old, Sookie. I don't have the luxury of going through life being naïve and gullible. I understand human nature, possibly even better than you, and I know how easy it is to become resentful and bitter towards the one you love when they are immortal and remain young while you are constantly battling your own mortality. Maybe Bill was able to shut his eyes and live in your fantasy world but I can't."

"I don't care… being a vampire is not an option for me."

"Even if it meant protecting the ones you love? Being with me?"

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it? If you really believe that it's you who is putting your brother and friends in danger, being a vampire would put a stop to that. My kind wouldn't be attracted to you because you would no longer be fae. Every excuse you're using to keep us apart now would be diminished," he gritted out.

"Are you listening to yourself, Eric? How can you possibly think it's a good idea to turn me into a vampire? We can't even be in the same room for more than five minutes before sniping at each other; how are we supposed to be together for an eternity? You've accused me of being gullible, but what about you?"

"It would be different; the bond we would share as a vampire and maker would be unlike anything you've ever experienced. We wouldn't need to argue about petty, unimportant things."

"Because, as my maker, you could just command me to obey you!" she fired back. "Of course there wouldn't be any fights when all you'd have to do is order me to shut up."

Bewildered, Sookie was beginning to wonder if his feelings for her were even truly genuine. He had always insisted there were two sides to her and she needed to repress her humanity and let the faerie part of her dominate in order to survive. Was that how he justified having feelings for her ("she wasn't _really_ human because she was part fae") when he'd time and time again proclaimed humans to be lowly and insignificant?

"Do you love me?" she asked, desperately hoping his words could convince her heart what her brain was beginning to question. "Do you really love _me_, Eric?"

"Are you having doubts, Sookie?" he replied bitterly. "I've never lied to you about my intentions – unlike Bill. And you forgave _him _very easily."

"This isn't about Bill," she whispered, swiping her tears away. "What do you really love about me, Eric?"

"Is that what this is about? Do you want me to stroke your ego and flatter you?"

"I want you to tell me the _fucking_ truth!" she screamed, surprising herself and him with her rage. "If I didn't have faerie blood in me, would you still love me? _Could _you?"

"How dare you ask me that? _I_ never seduced you into falling in love with me by hurting you and forcing you to drink my blood. _I_ never lied to you!"

"You're also not answering my question."

"I offered to make you a vampire, Sookie. That meant completely eradicating the fae part of you. How can you doubt my feelings after that?"

"But it wouldn't just be the fae part, would it? Turning me would also destroy everything human about me."

"I don't like your implications."

"You're not denying them either, are you?" she cried. "Could you love me if I was _only _human and nothing more?"

"You're not just human," he bit out through clenched teeth. "Therefore it doesn't matter."

She saw right through his denials; he may have refused to admit it but the truth was finally out, widening the growing distance between them. He was ashamed to love her for who she was – a human – and the revelation broke her heart.

"I love you," he said, his body tense and voice filled with rage that belied his words.

"Just not _everything _about me, right?"

"Don't be childish."

She gave him a bitter smile through her tears. "Sorry, that's just who I am." No longer able to look at him, Sookie turned her back to him and walked to the fridge.

"You shouldn't ask questions when you're not fully prepared for the answers," he spat out.

"But I didn't get any answers, did I?"

"Fine. You want answers? Here they are. Could I love you if you were only human and nothing more? Probably. Maybe. But I would hate it. I would hate it with _everything _I have."

"You would be ashamed," she whispered.

He didn't deny her accusation.

"I want you to go."

She didn't have to ask him twice. A second later the front door slammed shut and he was gone.

* * *

><p>Despite the hot shower she just took, Sookie still felt cold inside. She tried not to think about it but her brain refused to budge from the argument she just had with Eric. The words kept replaying over and over again in her head, tormenting her, and all she wanted was to silence them. Wrapping the towel around her body, she headed to the medicine cabinet. Sleep wouldn't come easily tonight and she needed that extra boost in her system to get some rest – even if she wasn't usually a fan of drugs. She pulled out a tablet and returned the bottle of sleeping pills back to the shelf before shutting the cabinet door. After swallowing the tablet she gazed at the mirror to see her own reflection, but the surface was too steamy. Reaching out, she wiped it with her hand. Suddenly, she found herself looking at Russell Edgington's sneering face staring back at her.<p>

"Good evening, Miss Stackhouse. Miss me?"

Sookie didn't even have time to scream.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hello, lover."

The unexpected sound of her voice caught him by surprise and Eric turned around. If he still had a beating heart in his chest, he was pretty sure it would have stopped dead at the sight of her. She was wearing a short robe that left very little to the imagination and a wicked smile that revealed she fully expected to be admired.

Sookie. _His _Sookie. In front of him again after all this time.

He wanted to rush over, touch her, hold her, immerse himself in her because it had been so long and he missed her, but something deep inside him compelled him not to move.

He peered closely at Sookie, his eyes hungrily taking her in, studying every inch of her form and committing it to his memory.

But his vampire instincts told him something wasn't right.

_His _Sookie was a study in contradiction, capable of extreme kindness yet also filled with fire and rage, tiny in stature but somehow larger than life. She was braver than most, often stupidly so. She was nowhere near perfect – far from it. She had a tendency to irritate him, frustrate him beyond belief, provoke his temper in a way very few could. However, she was also the first person who had actually managed to surprise him in a very long time, to make him feel the kind of intense emotions he thought he had outgrown after a thousand years. A part of him initially hated her for it, and he fought against the changes in him as hard as possible. Eventually, he realised it was useless to fight the inevitable.

But by the time he was willing to accept the truth, it was already too late.

The woman standing in front of him was a perfect replicate of _his_ Sookie, down to every nerve and cell, but she didn't _feel_ like the woman he loved.

He couldn't explain it. It made no sense at all. Which meant this was very possibly a dream.

_Fuck_.

"What's the matter, cowboy? Cat got your tongue?" she asked, tilting her head to the right. Rays of sunlight beaming behind her reflected against the golden strands of her hair causing a bright glare across the room. He found himself covering his eyes with the back of his hand to protect himself from the brilliance of it all.

When he opened his eyes next, they were back in her house, the very same spot they had shared their last conversation before he had walked out on her.

Sookie was here with him, but she was no longer in that robe. No, she was wearing her Merlotte's uniform, her hair tied up in a ponytail, and there was a huge festering wound on the side of her head that was slowly bleeding down her face and body and soaking into her white t-shirt until it had turned into a deep, dark red.

The smell of Sookie's blood had been ingrained into his senses from the very first time he had tasted her, thrilling him, taunting him. And now the sight of it was torturing him as she sat slowly bleeding in front of him.

The colour of her skin, the very opposite of the golden tan he remembered, now had a dull pale pallor to it. She was staring off into empty space, her gaze filled with a hollowness he was unaccustomed to from her vibrant self. Kneeling before her, he held her face in his hands. "Sookie," he urged softly. "Tell me where you are."

She didn't answer. She didn't even meet his gaze. And no matter how many times he tried to get through to her, nothing seemed to work. Out of frustration, he started shaking her shoulders violently. "Sookie!" he growled. "_Look _at me."

She finally did.

And for a moment, he felt _her_, he sensed the fear, the desperation, the sheer hopelessness that had completely enveloped her. Holding on to her tightly, he kissed her temple. "Tell me where you are."

She was beginning to grow numb again, become the empty shell she was a few seconds go, but he wasn't having any of it. He shook her once more, resorting to slapping her when she still refused to respond to him.

"What is it with you vampires?"

He whirled around to find his earlier vision of a robe-clad Sookie resting with her legs crossed behind him, taunting with him a sneer. She exhaled a sigh of boredom as she leaned closer to pick up a red, juicy apple that was sitting at the center of the table. She polished it with her hands before looking up at him again.

"I used to think y'all were smarter than humans but that's not really true, is it? I mean, do you seriously think intimidation and violence is going to bring a dead girl back to life?"

"She's not dead," he bit out.

The Sookie in front of him laughed before drawing his attention to the Sookie behind him, and he turned to find her bleeding body quickly rotting into a corpse and then disintegrating into ashes.

"Oh yeah, she's just full of life that one," Sookie laughed.

His predatory instincts took over. Using his vamp speed, he rushed over to the Sookie that still remained and grabbed her by the throat, slowly tightening his grip around her neck. "Where. Is. She?"

The sound of her laughter echoed around him as she suddenly disappeared into thin air. A second later she reappeared, this time several feet away from him.

"Give it up, Eric. She's gone, dead, rotting six feet under by now."

"I don't believe you."

She turned her back to him and swayed out of the kitchen and into the living room. Stifling the urge to attack her from behind, he simply followed her.

"Keep fucking those blonde fangbangers that look like her, Eric, because that is as close as you're going to get to your precious Sookie ever again."

Guilt surged through him but he refused to give into it, to reveal his vulnerabilities in front of this fucking bitch who was parading around as Sookie. "You don't know anything."

A smug smile curved across her face as she took a seat on the couch. "I know Sookie is never coming back."

"You're nothing more than a fucking nightmare," he growled, expecting her to be afraid of him. Instead, her smile only grew wider.

"When all else fails, bring out the fangs? How predictable."

He moved quickly to stand in front of her. "Tell me who you are. Or I'll start ripping you apart. Very slowly," he threatened calmly as he glared down at her.

"Funny, that's exactly what Russell did. He started with the pinky finger."

A sudden feeling of dread came over him, starting in the cavity in his chest where his heart once resided, and swiftly surging through him until he felt it so keenly and powerfully he was almost paralysed by it.

"But he didn't just stop there."

The pain was so intense he wanted to wretch but he fought it with everything he had, refusing to give the bitch the satisfaction of seeing him keel over.

"She cried, and she begged, and she pleaded. But you know Russell..."

"_Stop!_"

"A girl can only take so much," she sighed exaggeratedly, shrugging her shoulders.

"She has powers-"

"That only kick in when she's drunk ancient vampire blood. You can't possibly think Russell is that stupid, do you?" She propped her legs up on the coffee table, and the sound of her heels smashing against the glass surface was excruciatingly sharp. Despite the glass shards piercing into her skin and blood gushing out, Sookie stared up at him with a smile. "Face it, Viking. Five years may be nothing to you but it's a long time for a human to be a mad vamp's hostage."

Eric woke up with a start.

Even though over the past five years his connection with Sookie had faded, he had been able to sense a faint glimmer of her emotions once in a while. But not anymore. Now, there was nothing.

And he had to face the fact she was truly dead.


	10. Chapter 10

_Ten years later..._

Less than pleased about the meeting with the King, Pam entered Bill Compton's office. She was surprised to find that he wasn't alone. Usually when she was ordered to show up to discuss Eric's whereabouts, it was just the two of them. Tonight, however, Isabel Beaumont was also present in the room. Pam's eyes slowly travelled down Isabel's lean, lithe figure, admiring the Queen of Mississippi in all her sensuous glory. But her body wasn't the only thing Pam was interested in – she was also lusting after the vintage diamond necklace around Isabel's graceful neck.

"Pam, I assume you know Queen Isabel?" Bill asked in his usual insufferable tone of voice.

"Not as intimately as I'd like," Pam replied, casting a flirtatious smile at the other woman. Isabel's beautifully shaped eyebrow arched up, but she didn't respond.

"We're here on business," Bill reminded her, waving her to take a seat.

"And here I thought this was a tea party," Pam snarked, sitting down in front of Bill. Isabel followed suit.

"Where is Eric?" Bill asked.

"Out of town," Pam responded coldly.

"Did you not communicate my instructions to him?" Bill asked.

"I did."

"But he has yet to return to Louisiana?"

Pam shrugged her shoulders. "He's taking care of business."

"Business?" Isabel finally chose that moment to speak up. "He's chasing after unsubstantiated rumors when he should be taking care of his actual responsibilities."

Pam cursed the royal bitch internally, wishing she had just kept her mouth shut. Even if Isabel iwas/i right, Pam would never admit it publicly, especially in front of that jackass Bill. "I thought finding Russell Edgington as quickly as possible _is_ business; it's something we should all be concerned with," she argued.

"And what makes you think Eric will succeed where the authority has failed?" Bill fired back. "Do you have any idea how much of our resources have been spent trying to locate Russell?"

"No," Pam replied, her voice clipped. "And I'm really not interested."

"Do _not_ disrespect your King unless you're prepared to face the consequences," Isabel threatened.

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell them to fuck off, but Pam recognised that pissing off her superiors wasn't exactly going to help her cause. "No offense intended," Pam said, feigning a polite smile, "but how exactly is this Mississippi's concern?"

"I asked Isabel to join me here. We need to find a suitable replacement for Eric if he continues to shirk his responsibilities."

"Eric hasn't shirked _anything_. Area Five is running smoothly as it always has. Just because you don't like the idea of Eric finding Sookie first-"

"Enough!" Bill raged. "That is all. You are to inform your maker if he doesn't return to Shreveport within two days, he will be removed of his title and all that it entails."

Forcing herself to keep her mouth shut, Pam stood up. She nodded her head in Bill's direction before leaving.

* * *

><p>Pam was seething when she returned to Fangtasia, angry at both Eric and that pompous ass Bill. She hated to admit it, but that little prick did have a point. Eric's first and foremost loyalty was supposed to be to Area five. Instead, he'd been mainly focused on finding Russell Edgington and chasing after Sookie – even though there was a very good chance the bitch was already dead. Anytime rumors of Russell sightings came back to her maker, Eric took off, leaving her to deal with the day-to-day responsibilities of running Fangtasia. Of course if there were any problems within the area that needed his involvement, he returned immediately to handle them. Even then, it was obvious to everyone that Area Five was no longer Eric's first priority.<p>

Sensing Eric's presence nearby, Pam rushed to his office. Opening the door, she found him sitting in his chair with a tiny blonde on his lap, feeding from her neck. He glanced up at Pam. "That'll be all," he said to the human, removing her from his lap.

The girl walked away; Pam shut the door, and levelled her maker with a cold glance. "You need to speak to Compton."

"Do I now?" Eric replied disinterestedly, focusing his attention on the paperwork in front of him.

"He's threatened to remove you as Sheriff if you don't do as he says."

Eric cocked his eyebrow. "I'd like to see him try."

"Don't be an idiot, Eric. He has every right to do as he sees fit, especially when you're not even here half the time," Pam bit out, and instantly regretted the words when Eric pierced her with a glacial look.

For years now – ever since the whole business with that bitch Marnie and Sookie happened - her relationship with Eric had been strained. In the beginning she had tried everything she could think of to rectify the situation but eventually Pam realised it was hopeless; he wasn't interested in fixing things – or anything that didn't involve finding his goddamn precious fairy – and Pam was sick of trying to appease him. "Did you at least find anything this time?"

"Nothing," he said coldly without looking up. "They left the city shortly before I arrived."

It would have been easy to miss the hint of disappointment on Eric's face but it didn't escape her notice. After all he was her maker, she understood him better than anyone else, and although he may not have wanted to share his pain with her, she still sensed the horrible depth of heartbreak and despair he'd fallen into ever since Sookie was taken by Russell Edgington.

But of course they never discussed it.

"How long are you sticking around this time?" she asked.

"Once it becomes necessary for you to know, I'll inform you."

"You're kidding me, right?" she huffed. Of course her feelings of discontent were of no importance to him because he simply ignored her.

"Shut the door when you leave and don't disturb me for the rest of the evening."

"Yes, _Master_," Pam bit out sarcastically before slamming the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Sookie woke up with a start, once again plagued by the same nightmares that have continuously haunted her. She closed her eyes to calm herself but her senses were assaulted by the inane chatter of human guards that were scattered all over the mansion. She wondered if they had any idea what precarious positions they were in. One hint of betrayal whispered amongst them and she would instantly tear them to pieces, with no one to hold her back. Sometimes she even wished that would happen, just so she can appease this growing potent rage inside her.<p>

As every night passed, she was more and more consumed by the need to obliterate the vampire who had used her mercilessly while she was alive and discarded her so callously when she was no longer of any use to him, who had betrayed _her_ maker in the most tragic of ways. But she knew she had to be patient and bide her time because she wasn't ready yet.

As Russell often reminded her, she only had one shot in destroying the extremely treacherous Eric Northman, and she had to be at her absolute strongest when that moment came.


	11. Chapter 11

After every nightmare Sookie awoke with a start and had to remind herself that her dreams couldn't be trusted. They were deceptive, designed to torment her, probably the last remaining fragments of her human subconscious self that still seemed to haunt her when she was at her weakest. In her dreams _he_ was always present by her side, sometimes whispering in her ears while making love to her, other times killing her in the most excruciating of ways.

She never knew what version of Eric Northman would visit her. By the time she realised it, it was always too late. Often he tricked her into a false sense of safety by telling her he loved her, would protect her, and just when she trusted him the playful, charming mask disintegrated and his true, cold, terrifying self was revealed. Then there were the times when he didn't even bother with a facade, smirking and sneering with the most cunning of smiles as he physically tortured her. He ripped out each and every one of her fingers, laughing and taunting as she screamed in agony and begged him to release her. Those days were the worst because she woke up reeling from the physical pain, her body experiencing the full effects of the horrible agony her mind had just suffered through.

It sickened her that she had no control over herself in these nightmares. She was always weak, frail, gullible, the very epitome of being human. Although she had no memories of her own from when she was alive – Russell said that was the result of her transformation, her mind's way of protecting herself from the tragic things that had happened – she realised those abhorrent characteristics must have been true about her human self. Otherwise how could she have let herself fall in love with Eric Northman? From everything that Russell had informed her of, Eric had deceived her repeatedly, and despite that her human self had still clung to him.

She never told Russell about her dreams. She knew it would worry her maker, and she didn't want to add to his burdens. It was the least she could do considering he had rescued her from Eric's clutches and saved her from the brink of death.

Russell was her father, her friend, her protector, and only he understood her thirst for revenge that grew exponentially more with every day that passed.

They were both victims of Eric Northman's brutality, and the day would soon come when he would pay for everything he had done to her and her father. It was simply a matter of time.

* * *

><p>"We have a mole amongst our guards."<p>

Hearing Russell's voice from behind, Sookie turned around to face her maker. He stood by the door, concern evident in his features. "Are you sure?"

Russell shot her an irritated glance as he moved to the bar and poured himself a glass of blood vodka. "How else do you explain how quickly Northman is tracking us? He's catching up to us faster and faster these days."

She sauntered towards Russell. "Then let him. We should stop running."

Her maker levelled her with a blank stare before offering her a drink. "Not yet."

"You underestimate my strength," she fired back.

"You overestimate yours."

As if sensing her regret for snapping at him, his expression softened and he raised his hand to her cheek, tracing the long scar on her face. Although it was one of numerous wounds that Eric had given her, it was the only one which had marred her face and was visible to everyone. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, she never could. And it would never heal because Russell had turned her into a vampire long after Eric had permanently disfigured her.

"I worry about you," Russell said softly. "You don't remember the cruelty he's capable of."

"All I have to do is look in the mirror," she reminded him, removing Russell's hand from her scar. "And I remember."

"You may forget when you see him; he is quite beautiful," Russell said almost accusingly. "My Talbot was greatly fond of him, and Eric used that to destroy and take him from me forever."

"You don't honestly think I'll be swayed by a pretty face, do you? After everything he's done?"

"Unlike you, my child, I don't have the luxury of forgetting all of his assaults. I'm fully aware of how deceptively charming he can be when he's determined to get something."

"I will not let him hurt you, Russell."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

Hearing the fear and concern for her in his voice, Sookie placed her hand over his to comfort him. "I'm no longer that pathetic human, Russell. I've changed, you've said that yourself many times, and I'm not foolish enough to fall for his tricks again."

His eyes narrowed onto her face, his suspicious glint directed towards her. "I hope so."

There were many times she had caught him watching her with that very same expression, and it always left her feeling confused and angry. Although she felt guilty for even questioning her maker, especially after everything he'd done for her, there was a small, tiny part deeply embedded within that desperately wondered why he wouldn't tell her more about her past; she had to beg and plead with Russell to give her even the tiniest of details. She knew this was his way of protecting her from the tragic things that happened, but sometimes she wished he would just trust her enough to share.

"Will you read the guards for me? Tell me which one is betraying us?" Russell asked.

"Of course."

"But do not hurt him. I want to use him to our advantage."

"How so?"

There was a brief pause before he spoke again, his gaze concentrated on her the entire time. "Maybe you were right, child. Maybe it is time we stop running."

Taking in his words, Sookie offered her maker a grateful smile. For the first time that she could recall, a strange sensation of anticipation swept through her, and it was absolutely exhilarating.

* * *

><p>Eric held no expectations about this latest bit of information that had slipped through to him; there really was no reason to considering none of them had ever panned out. As always Russell Edgington was never really where he was supposed to be, or he had already left by the time Eric had tracked him down. And there were never, ever any sightings of a woman with him after the first two years – something he had never revealed to Pam. For more than a decade he had let his progeny and Compton believe he clung to the illusion Sookie was alive; it served his purpose to let them think that. But he knew there was no hope. She couldn't be alive, not after all this time, and he knew it was for the best; he didn't want to consider what she would be suffering through at Russell's hands if she were.<p>

At first he had reassured himself Sookie's fairy blood would ensure her safety, Russell wouldn't let anything happen to her as long as she remained valuable to him, but over time when Russell still hadn't made his move against Eric or the authority, had displayed no signs of exhibiting the powerful leverage he held over other vampires, Eric had realised he must have done something to Sookie. After all Russell Edgington was insane with anger and grief, and Eric had inadvertently handed him the very person he could unleash his anger upon.

His gaze fell on the building structure in front of him, and Eric swiped the blood from his mouth. He had spent the last few minutes disposing of the human guards and werewolves bodyguards that Russell had employed. All he had to do now was check the building but he already suspected Russell was long gone. The heavily guarded structure was a ruse, it always was.

Eric entered the building. After several minutes of investigating the surroundings and finding nothing of use, he was about to leave when the faint sound of a human cry reached his ears. At first he thought he may have imagined it but then he heard the soft whimper again.

It took him a few seconds to find the source of the noise.

Using his vampire speed he rushed to the bottom floor of the abandoned building, and concentrated his attention on the room at the end of the hallway. He had checked it briefly earlier, and had found it empty, and it looked to be vacant once again as he opened the door for the second time. This time, however, he went inside. He heard that distinct sound once more and realised it seemed to be coming from behind the walls. It didn't take long for him to find the hidden passageway located between the walls. As he followed the path, the sound grew increasingly closer until he finally reached the room at the end.

Refusing to acknowledge that dreaded feeling of anticipation that always lead to disappointment, he swung the door open.

Inside the room was a woman sitting on the floor, her back to him, bent over and feeding from a human that was almost dead. Upon realising she was no longer alone, the vampire turned around to face him, her mouth covered in blood, her eyes brimming with fear.

It was Sookie.


	12. Chapter 12

"Sookie?"

One second she was vamped out and hunched over the human corpse on the floor, mouth covered in blood, the next she had jumped up to attack him. Eric was faster and stronger, throwing her aside would have required no effort on his part, but he remained in place, letting her claw at him.

It's not like he was in shock. No, that was a human condition and far too ridiculous a notion for him to even consider. It's just that he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or Sookie really was in front of him. But this was real. It had to be. Because he felt something stir deep inside him, an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time, and suddenly he was desperate to look at her, to hold her, and his fingers curled around the back of her head. With vamp speed, he trapped her against the wall to study her closely.

Her eyes were still the same shade of brown, yet also strange, wild and uninhibited in a way they never were before. For one quick second he noticed something else in her gaze, a kind of anger only _he_ was capable of, but it disappeared so quickly he must have imagined it. None of that mattered, however, because the truth finally sunk in. This was Sookie. _His_ Sookie. And she was really here, with him.

No longer a faerie, not even a human, but a _vampire_ - the very thing she never wanted to be.

Their last conversation flashed into his mind, and he remembered how adamantly she had rejected his offer to turn her. She had cherished the human part of her, had clung to it even after discovering she had faerie blood running through her veins. And here she was now, a vampire, snarling at him. He was grateful not to have a working, beating heart in his chest because it surely would have broken for the woman he loved.

His fingers traced the scar on her cheek, and a searing rage swept through him. Russell had done this to her, taken her, hurt her, _killed_ her, changed her into something she never wanted to be, and Eric was going to make him pay for it. For all of it.

All of a sudden she stilled and, at long last, there was a spark of recognition in her gaze. Her eyes filled with blood tears as she latched onto him, clinging to him desperately, almost as if there was no longer any fight left in her. Although he tried his best to comfort her, he felt helpless and simply hugged her as tightly as he could. When her knees eventually gave way and she slid down his body, he followed suit until they were both huddled on the floor together. "Sookie," he whispered again, grazing his lips across her temple as he rubbed her back. She remained sobbing in his embrace, the sound of her soft cries the only noise in the room. He needed to get her out of here but he didn't feel like moving, a small part of him still frantic that if he loosened his grip she would disappear again.

"Eric..."

He never thought he'd hear her say his name again, feel her touch on his skin, or the taste of her lips against his. He should have been gentler with her, a lot more controlled, yet he returned her kiss with far more ferocity than he intended. Soon his face and hands were covered in her bloody tears, and the emptiness that had taken hold of him since she disappeared finally started to subside.

The air was thick with a comfortable silence for a long time. When he spoke again, he rested his forehead against hers as he gently swiped the tears from her face. "It'll be dawn soon. We need to leave."

She trembled, frightened. "I haven't been outside in... I don't even remember."

Rage flooded through him again, remembering what Russell had done to her, yet a tender kiss from her was enough to calm the storm within him. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

And she looked up at him with nothing but trust in her eyes.

888

Wrapped in a robe, Sookie sat on the bed and scrutinised Eric closely. They were in his suite, at a vampire-friendly hotel she had apparently visited before but didn't remember. Although busy mixing her a drink of fresh blood - delivered via room service by the breather herself - and cognac, he was also watching her intently.

Eric was beautiful, far more exquisite in reality than in her dreams, but only because he hadn't exposed the underbelly of his true self yet. She _knew_ underneath that compassionate facade and gentle touch was a manipulative monster, one who had ripped her apart and destroyed her in every way imaginable. He may have been on his best behaviour now, pretending to love and care for her, but it was only a matter of time before he revealed his inner cruelty. This time, however, she would be ready for him.

Russell had been right when he'd advised her to play the innocent victim, one who had no memory of all the horrible things Eric had done to her. She may not have had the physical prowess to kill Eric, after all he was over a thousand years old, but she possessed something infinitely more dangerous. All she had to do was be patient, remain focused, and not let anything weaken her resolve.

Eric swaggered over to her, standing directly in front as he handed her the drink. His other hand gently caressed the very same wound he had scarred her with, his eyes brimming with something that looked suspiciously like anger, making her wonder if he was reliving the moment in his head, perhaps even enjoying it. Well, two could play this game. Leaning into him, she gave him her most vulnerable expression. "Will you stay with me? I'm scared of being alone."

He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "You'll never be alone again."

Oh, he was good at this. Great, even.

But she would no longer be his victim. She would make him pay for everything he did to her, and to her maker, and hers would be the last face he would see before meeting his true death.

_To be continued..._

**A/N **- Let the games begin :) Please feed the muse with comments. When she's starving, she refuses to work! Thanks for reading!_  
><em>


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